Written in the Stars
by Noelle17
Summary: In the future, Angel reflects on some things, with the help of Elton John.


Title: Written in the Stars

Title: Written in the Stars

Disclaimer: Buffy and whatnot belong to this really lucky guy named Joss Whedon. And then the song…I guess its Elton John and Tim Rice's. It's from the show AIDA.

Feedback: Do it.

Distribution: Ask, please.

A/N: So this doesn't really fall anywhere in the canon that I can think of. It just…is. The conditions of the Buffyverse can't really be explained. You don't get background on this one. It is what it is and hopefully that's enough.

I sit in the office with piles of paperwork in front of me. I pretend that I'm working when I'm really doing "the brood thing" as she calls it. Sometimes I just can't help it. Regardless of how far we've come, how happy I am, and what the future holds, I can never forget the past. Our past. The music she is playing doesn't help. I don't understand what it is with her and musicals. Or maybe it's the star crossed lovers that she likes. Either way, it does nothing but push me deeper into my brooding. I know she doesn't mean to do this and I would never ask her to be anything other than what she is so in some ways I love it when she plays this stuff just because it reminds me of her. But not always in a good way. The song I've been dreading streams out of the speakers (surround sound…the things she can get me to do for her) and I can't help but remember.

_I am here to tell you we can never meet again  
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then  
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when  
You think of me or speak of me and wonder what befell  
The someone you once loved so long ago so well_

I can't believe how stupid I was. You would think that at two hundred and forty three years old I would be smart enough to know a good thing when I saw it. But she was too good, too pure, and I couldn't bring myself to draw her into the darkness…_I want my life to be with you…I don't_…I meant well and sometimes I think it had to happen for us to be where we are today. Regardless, having to say those things to her was more painful than hundreds of years in hell.

_Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by  
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply  
Every moment of my life from now until I die  
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand  
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand_

Maybe if I hadn't left her all those years ago, she would never have jumped. Or I at least would have been there to catch her. She was ready, and in my heart I know that, but that doesn't mean I was. I don't go a day without chastising myself for not being there, not stopping her, not helping her, not jumping for her, not catching her. I would have done anything for her and the one time it counted, I couldn't be there.

_Is it written in the stars  
Are we paying for some crime  
Is that all that we are good for  
Just a stretch of mortal time  
For some God's experiment  
In which we have no say  
In which we're given paradise  
But only for a day_

But who am I kidding? The Powers have always wanted to fuck us over in any way possible. You would think that after giving up my humanity for her…_I'll never forget, I'll never forget_…they would've gotten the message. I will love her no matter what. We are two halves of a whole. But they still had to kill her one more time to make sure. Idiots.

_Nothing can be altered, there is nothing to decide  
No escape, no change of heart, no anyplace to hide_

_You are all I'll ever want, but this I am denied  
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned_

_What it is to be in love and have that love returned_

Like I could ever love anyone else. Sometimes I think I loved her even before that fateful day, before she ever saw me, but I saw her and she shined brighter than the sun. Still does.

_Is it written in the stars  
Are we paying for some crime  
Is that all that we are good for  
Just a stretch of mortal time  
For some God's experiment  
In which we have no say  
In which we're given paradise  
But only for a day_

As the song trails to an end, I notice her appear in the doorway, tears streaming down her face. But there is something other than sadness. She does this sometimes, and I probably do it to her. She stands there, staring at me, as if in awe, surprised that I'm real. We've never quite gotten used to the fact that this is allowed now. There's nothing stopping us from having our forever.

I hold my hand out to her. She slowly walks over and slides her slim hand into my larger one and I tug her down to my lap. My hand drops to her pregnant belly and I kiss it before lifting my head to kiss her soft lips. She drops her head to my shoulder and her lips brush the spot on my neck where my pulse beats strong.

"I love you, Angel."

"I love you too, love. But Buffy?"

"Mm?"

"Please turn off the music."


End file.
